We all need an anchor to keep us rooted so that we don’t go too far from where we should be and, ultimately, who we truly are.
So, what do I mean by ‘anchor’?
My definition of an anchor is something to hold you down and keep you grounded. A source of strength and comfort when you need it, whenever you need it. It’s something that you can refer to for a reminder of who you are, and how capable you are. Basically, something that reminds you that you are the best thing since sliced bread!
The need for an anchor
To many, I have always exuded confidence – I have walked through most of my life appearing confident and self-assured. For the most part, this is a fairly accurate take on who I was and am. However, it was not the full picture. A part of the picture was not visible to others, and neither was it visible to me. Alongside my confidence was a lack of self-esteem and belief in my ability to overcome. I say ‘alongside’ and not ‘behind’ because my confidence was not a façade, it was very real, but I was confident in the things I was comfortable with, the things that came easy and naturally to me. I had never learnt the concept of failure and that it didn’t mean it was the end of the world, and that one could eventually overcome. But we’ll tackle that discussion in a later post.
The cracks started to show in my early twenties when I realised that I had a bit of a gift for writing, but I was always scared to commit to it because, ultimately, I didn’t think it (or rather I) would be good enough. However, it was only recently that I truly realised that I had low self-esteem – during a period of hostility with my partner I noticed that my argument was deeply rooted in the constant need for validation because deep down was an internalised feeling of inadequacy. My point was that my partner wasn’t doing enough to “speak life into me”; whether that may have been true or not, it was a trigger that prompted a deeper look into myself.
‘Words of affirmation’ had always been my love language – I’ve always enjoyed reading long birthday messages and hearing my previous partners declare their reasons for their undying love. Sure, we all like to hear nice things about us, but I realised that it sometimes felt key to my success. I started to feel like I needed the constant reassurance of my loved ones for me to even start to believe in myself. I don’t know about you, but that doesn’t sound healthy or even sustainable.
My anchor
After some soul-searching, I realised that my self-esteem had been rooted in my achievements in childhood. I was always praised and acknowledged for my academic achievements, but never for just being. On concluding that I had to learn to harness my own powers so I could believe in my own sauce, I decided to try positive affirmations. Best believe I had sticky notes all over the gaff – I had them on the fridge, microwave, and door frames. You name it, it was probably labelled.
The affirmations worked until they didn’t. I stopped believing them. Without a deeper foundation to cling onto in moments of doubt, I was back to square one.
I have always believed in God and the bible, but I haven’t always a relationship with Him. A part of me has always had an element of side-eye towards God. Even in my prayer and my faith in Him, there were and still are unanswered questions. Nonetheless, I decided He MUST be the solution for me. I thought ‘at this point, it really is above me. Literally’. My anchor is God.
For me, having God as my anchor means believing in myself because He is with me, and I believe He is guiding me in my purpose (which He assigned). I have a bank of bible verses that are my affirmations. In my opinion, bible verses are the original affirmations. Instead of repeating ‘I am strong’ I repeat ‘I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me’ (Philippians Chapter 14 verse 13). Gospel music also always gives what it’s supposed to!
Don’t get me wrong, I am not instantly overjoyed in moments of doubt simply because I read a verse. The difference is that I now have an anchor I believe more than I believe myself, so I am driven to take the plunge on pure hope and faith, even when I don’t see the full picture.
The takeaway
I believe the main characteristics of an anchor are:
- It must be something you believe in
You need to be able to trust that your anchor is truth, or that they will tell you the truth. Without this faith, you have nothing to hold onto and keep you hopeful when you’ve run out of your own steam. An anchor is like a reserve, but if you don’t believe that the reserves are truly there, then there is nothing left.
- It must not sleep
When it’s 3am, you’re down and out, but you don’t want to wake any of your loved ones up (or they’re just simply unavailable), you will need a source you can draw from when all other options are no longer options.
- It must be sustainable
Your anchor cannot break, nor can it run out. You must be able to rely on it for as long as you need without it wearing out. It must be able to just be there on call.
If you haven’t already, I hope you find your anchor.
Well written and spot on the Lord is my strength that is my anchor, thank you for your post they’re truly uplifting 😊
Thank you for reading Norma, I’m glad you enjoyed the piece 🙂
Love this post! You can feel lost in a world without an anchor or having faith. Your posts are very relatable and enjoyable to read.
I love the piece😍so encouraging